Monday, December 30, 2002

well well...i'm listening to paula abdul right now...has shirin's life reached a new low?

well, it's almost the start of a brand new year...and i have some thoughts. (how cool! it's like the "final thought" segment on jerry springer...i'm just that damn cool.)

ok ok...a lot has changed in one year. a lot (wow i think that's the first time i've ever bolded anything on my blog...omg i am a dork...anyways)

shirin at the beginning of the year: cynical, sarcastic, milk and pork for life yo type mindset
shirin at the close of the year: cynical, sarcastic, ehh a smaller portion of milk and pork

(btw, for all you NOOBs milk and pork is a reference to something i've said frequently over the years -- "I'm milk and pork in the sun!" -- milk and pork = BITTER)

wow the changes are refreshing. actually, i won't admit it fully to myself, but i have changed...for the better. i'm not gonna give it all away...but i have one thing to say about it all:

"Denial just ain't a river in egypt!" : O (insert dramatic music here) !!!

well, nothing's for sure...but i'm getting very worried about it. i've just gotta remember: never again...i'm not letting it happen to me again.

and it won't.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

http://entertainment.yahoo.com/entnews/wwn/20020116/101119320009.html says:

Groom Killed By Stripper's Boobs
Wednesday January 16, 2002

GENEVA - A fun-filled bachelor party at a strip club turned deadly when a 32-year-old groom-to-be who was enjoying the attentions of a well-endowed stripper suffocated while his face was buried in her breasts.

The mind-boggling drama unfolded, say cops, while Daniel Greene was attending his bachelor party at the Pretty Kitty strip club.

The club had been rented out for the private affair.

According to investigators, Greene was enjoying a lap dance when disaster struck: One of the strippers, Kandy Kane, got too into her performance and suffocated the man between her 72-DD breasts.

Witnesses said that Greene had had his fair share of beer, but didn't seem out-of-control.

When the song "I'm Too Sexy" began to play, Greene became excited and began to dance on the tabletop, hooting and hollering, pals said, "like an idiot."

Miss Kane, apparently pleased to see someone enjoying her choice in music, moved in closer.

When Greene took his seat, she began giving him a lap dance, shaking her breasts in his face.

The more she shook, the deeper Greene got lost in her cleavage.

"Daniel was having so much fun," partygoer John Gillman said.

"We all thought he loved being in that gal's chest.

"Who could have known that when he was waving his hands around, he was signaling for help?"

Cheering onlookers eventually realized that Greene was no longer moving, and pulled him from between Miss Kane's breasts.

Now Greene's family is suing Miss Kane and the Pretty Kitty for wrongful death.

Greene's father, George, won't specify the amount they are suing for, but claims that it isn't about the money.

"Those breasts were lethal weapons," he told reporters.

"The Pretty Kitty should not have allowed Miss Kane to have her bust enhanced to the size that she did.

"We hope that by filing this lawsuit, we can send a message to other strippers: keep your bra size within a reasonable range."

Kandy Kane made a statement through her attorneys: "I thought he liked it in there. "

The Pretty Kitty declined comment.

-- Thanks Jake lol --

Saturday, December 21, 2002

stetson cologne commercial asks you,
"What man has never been a cowboy?"

Umm, your mom?

Friday, December 20, 2002

yeah i just finished watching true lies. not only was that a great movie, it was way realistic too. for example:

(ahnold's daughter hanging off the side of a crane, ahnold pulls up in a jet)
"Jump, daddy will catch you!"

OH, and jamie lee curtis really needs to stop. jebus, that one part where she dances around in her bra and undies...
(shudder) theres just something so wrong about a hermaphrodite shaking her booty round and round

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

i am so freakin stressed out right now
*Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation. A guy sticks his location into a girl's destination to increase the population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

Tanya, why am I not surprised that you put this quote in your profile?

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

i keep catching my dad watching lifetime.

my father:
the avid sportsman who is a life time member of the NRA and many hunting clubs,
the sensitive, vulnerable man who watches lifetime, television for women

Monday, December 16, 2002

Ok yeah, so i have this massive research paper due on friday, so what am i doing? am i reading criticism? NO!
i'm blogging and playing Goddamn yahoo pool.
someone get me off the fuckin computer, please!

Saturday, December 14, 2002

( 2:36 AM ) Salpi
people get really strange late at night. consider this example:

Blisphuleebloo (2:33:29 AM): i like dokro
Blisphuleebloo (2:34:22 AM): fard!

it'll be ok puja.. dont worry... #

Genius, pure and unadulterated GENIUS!!!

ilovetheasians: good job


Sunday, December 08, 2002

I don't want to go to Pierce tomorrow!!!

I'm sleepy.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

"Before you can work at the Krusty Krab, you have to understand POOP.

(Customer walks in, orders a Krabby Patty)

You see, People Order Our Patties! Aww, POOP, you've never failed us yet!"

Thank you, Spongebob Squarepants, for these most profound words.
M R S. G!!!

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

"Based on a true story: a Court TV original movie, sponsered by Advil."

ilovetheasians: ur gay
Hooka on Friday! I'm excited!
2 10 page papers due on Monday! I'm excited!
Puja / Salpi's B-Day on Saturday! I'm excited!
I am consumed with hate right now! I'm excited!
Your mom is coming over tonight! I'm excited!
Why do I feel like I need to bash someone's face in? I'm excited!
Friday is going to take forever to come! I'm excited!

I'm a lot happier lately

...I'm excited!
Fuck you bitch. Go chomp on a rack of ham. Nevermind...that's considered canibalism...

Sunday, December 01, 2002

wooooooow thanksgiving was cool

i spent thanksgiving with jamies family (i was an orphan child -- my dad is in iran and my mom was working) and it was like heaven. traditional thanksgiving food AND korean/japanese food...OMG i was quite the satisfied one that night. and then her whole family played blackjack, and i won 12 bucks. not bad, considering i can't play for poo.

i sat out the poker game because i decided to read her cousin's new issue of maxim. interesting stuff, aside from the half naked women in sexually suggestive poses. but they had a article called "master your johnson" or something like that...and it was like a guide to your penis. the article had a circus theme which is really funny if you think about it. so of course i read it, because like any other red blooded american teenager, i wanted to read the instruction manual to penises. funny i should say manual...anyways yeah, and that was thanksgiving!

OMG i want some stuffing SO bad right now...
okie dokie...

well i saw the bond movie...yeah i liked it alot! i went in expecting lots of guns, explosions, and sex, and that's what i got. although bond only did 2 girls, which is kinda like nothing at all for bond. like in "a view to a kill," the decrepit roger moore gets it on with 5 different women! 5, and he was like a billion years old in that movie. eh, so it goes. it was still a good movie, even tho it was going off the traditional bond formula. eh, what can you do. how james bond has been at it for over 40 years without coming across any sort of STD is beyond me. he is the man with the magical penis. maybe it's like scotch guarded or something. repels stuff like that.

wow christmas is coming up : D

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